The Fuck Boy the Hot Girl and the Friend Zone!

We live in a delusional, made up superficial, social media fake world! Where the fuck boy rules, the hot girl scores and the friend zone is real. It’s like the high school chick flick of the new age! You sit watching from the outside and see what’s going on its a joke.

 It’s hard trying to date in this era where dating isn’t OK open relationships, one night stands and no strings attached is the norm. You try finding a future wife or husband in this day and age it’s like looking for the mysterious pot of gold at the end of the rainbow virtually impossible.

The nice guy the guy that’s the gentleman that believes that chivalry isn’t dead that love is real not something you say when listening to your favorite song or eating your favorite meal. But the love you experience when you meet a potential soul mate the real kind of I can’t eat, can’t sleep, love that love that will weather every storm. It’s unspoken of because heaven forbids you say the L word that’s not cool or start catching them feelings as the kids on the streets refer to it these days.

 Those people exist though and do you want to know where you will find them? I ‘ll give you one guess. In the friend zone! Every fuck boy has a girl best friend who has been crushing so hard she’s settled for the FZone praying secretly for that one day when his done being a stupid fuck boy and he will notice her. Vice versa the hottest girl at the party will have a guy bestie secretly crushing on her, and so the vicious cycle goes.

For those that do find that love hold on to it, cherish it, be kind to each other, respect each other and communicate with each other! Getting back in the dating world is hard work, and  nobody is ready for if you have been out of the game for awhile.

Where do I find myself in this tangled mess of dating in the new age you may ask? I am the girl that gets friend zoned I am the girl who friends zones at times. For ages I was oblivious to this world called dating just living vicariously through my girlfriends love lives and to be honest, it just felt like too much work!

 So I live my life, I never go out with the intention of finding anyone. I enjoy my life to the fullest, and through finding myself, I seem to be the hot girl at the party. I am not though, I am confident at times, I am far from perfect but I love the person I am becoming, I make my rules and yes I fall into the traps of the new age dating world at times.

When you figure out what you want and just live your best life people will notice you. You will attract the best people into your life, and if you lucky you may find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow the trick is not to compromise who you are to fit into this delusional cesspool of new age dating.

Once you know your worth, you will see that the hot girl at the party and the fuck boys of this world are just as lonely as the peeps in the friend zone! 

So if you single AF don’t hate it focus on you have fun do all the things you want to do while you have the freedom of being single. Life is great alone and with someone but only when you love yourself are you capable of loving another. So that’s why we have this delusional world of dating right now it’s because people don’t believe they good enough for themselves and they go out to fill a void by hooking up with as many people as they can.

Excuse my profanities in the title and in this piece I don’t usually swear but this just wouldn’t give this piece the correct dramatic effect without it.

I hope you enjoyed my view on dating in this day and age. Interested to hear what you think? let me know in the comments below.I will be back with some travel updates soon, Thanks for reading!

 

Peace love & Happiness

Cherry ♥

 

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Love Creates Beauty not Just on Valentine’s Day!

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It’s Valentines day , and I am off work today. It is going to be the day of mixed emotions for me, my friend who passed away tragically his funeral was last week in Johannesburg. Where he lived, but he was originally from Cape Town and today with great thanks to his family for organising we are having a memorial service for him in Cape Town.

So that’s how I will be spending my morning giving thanks and praising the lord for bringing this soul into my life and as sad as it is that he is now gone I trust the lord is in control and knows what his doing. They often say the good die young. With that being said; I am preparing myself for an emotional morning. I know the closure this will bring will be good for us all.

I haven’t had a traditional Valentines Day for years since I am very single and hardly ever date. ( I am very fine with this.) I have a group of girl and guy friends who are also single, so we always do something together to celebrate the one Holiday I find to be very stupid. 2 years ago we had singles braai and only our single friends were allowed, last year we had a singles dinner and this year we are having an a singles rave at the Ultra music Festival.

So, however, you find yourself spending this day,with lover or no lover we love each other, and I truly think; Love Creates Beauty, not just on Valentine’s Day!

The shocking passing of my friend taught me to love every day as we never know when it will be our last. So even if you not in romantical relationship do something nice for someone you love today!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Peace love & Happiness

Cherry ♥

Marriage,the furthest thing from my Mind but…

On Tuesday while I was at the gym (yes I made it to the gym) not despising it as much lately.  After a hard session I reward myself with a sauna session I have to make the gym somewhat enjoyable. Anyways back to the point, I go to an all women’s gym and it has a spa section with a sauna and Jacuzzi  and tanning section. While I was basking in the heat of the sauna I overheard a conversation happening in the Jacuzzi by two newly weds.

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I guess this was there time to vent and they both understood what the other was going through. I am not near marriage and frankly see it as a distant thing that may happen in my future. What fascinated me by this conversation was, that every time either one of the women said something the other would agree and this made me think the issues they were experiencing must be rather common.

I don’t think of marriage often but I am a romantic at heart and would appreciate the extra wooing that goes into it before marriage happens. What I learnt from these two chatting away was that they missed that wooing too and  the extra attention.

They often felt that their spouse does truly love them but forgets to show it and it is less frequent than it used to be before they got married.  I distinctly remember the one woman saying she has only been married for four months but the honeymoon phase she wished would never end has ended and she has turned into a routine wife.(already after 4 months!)

She understands that her husband no longer has to fight for her attention as he has caught his prey if I use it in a primal context  and therefore she should just know he cares and loves her and they both not going anywhere.

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While I understand that I feel in cases like this which I am sure occurs all too often one should not hesitate even if you personally think its a little silly, you must tell him how you feel.  You not expecting candle lit dinners and rose petals every night but the occasional, wow you look beautiful  I am so glad I married you will do the trick.

Like I have said before I am far from any love or marriage guru but this conversation just made me think. Like in life we often get sucked into the system of society and routines that we often never deviate off the so called “life path”. I am not saying be reckless but I am saying live more and don’t forget the small things in life and especially in a marriage. Marriage is hard work and most people often just get sucked into the idea of being married that two is better than one and everything will be okay once we married.

I am also not saying don’t get married! God created Marriage and it is a beautiful thing once you feel you have met your life partner that should be celebrated and taken very seriously. What I am saying is enjoy the good the bad in riches or poorer and in sickness and health parts of the marriage. Don’t let a second go by without thinking about  your wife or husband and remember to to tell each other how much you love and care for them even when you angry.

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Life is short  and marriage is tough and every month together must be celebrated. When you made those vows to each other God was your witness and it should be taken as a lifelong commitment to each other. When things get tough try and think back to when you met and why you got married in the first place.

Your marriage can be a lifelong Honeymoon phase if you try and learn something new together everyday,grow together, talk to each other not at each other, listen to each other and most importantly don’t forget to have FUN. Try very hard not to get caught in the life cycle of routines and just remember that small things matter.   With life and marriage you need it to be well balanced in order to run a smooth ship but those rough seas do come and it forces you to face it head on together instead of running away.  (what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger)

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That’s just my opinion on love, marriage, life matters but then again what do I know, I am just a singleton who happened to overhear a conversation.

 I am always interested to hear your thoughts so let me know in the comments if you agree or disagree! ( sorry for the long post hope it makes sense)

xxx

Cherry ♥

I am No Relationship Guru

So I never really talk about me in personal romantic kinda way (not much to say)more in an ambitious what I want out of life kinda way if that even makes sense lol

What I mean by that is I have been filling my life with career plans, creative blog plans and travel plans for the future.That I have not really made any love plans lol Not that one can ever plan that sort of thing but I have been single for about 3 years now and learnt so much about me and life and I am fairly content right now. I don’t really think too much about my previous relationships but my friends always come to me for relationship advice.

I don’t think I am any sort of Love Guru maybe I just give real good advice. I think I have a mastered the art of seeing things bigger than the situation at hand that it helps me give real, honest good advice. It is also way easier to give advice than to actually practice it. I often think to myself if I should ever get into a relationship soon I should learn how to practice what i preach.

I just don’t get it, you were two individual people when you started liking  each other stay those people! Don’t change for each other grow together and learn to compromise, communicate and trust each other. This is the part where all those in a relationship shout at me and say get into a relationship then tell me how easy that is.Easier said than done I get that.

Firstly in my opinion (I am no expert I just observe) If you need to change for someone and your own friends don’t recognize you, you doing something wrong. You need to be respected for who you are and remind yourself  that he or she liked you for you in the beginning nobody should change but rather grow as individuals together.

I truly believe that if you find a partner that inspires you to become a better version of yourself he or she is a keeper! In today’s society we get off on quick fixes and cheap thrills and leave empty you never going to be fulfilled in a relationship if you not a whole person without a partner and looking for someone to complete you is a lot of Bull  if you ask me. I am a realist  see things like it is minus all the smooth talk I think I have just learnt to smarten up through the years. Grew up from a naive little girl to a tough girl boys are probably scared of lol

It might sound like I am just another girl talking to you with a broken heart and never got over it. Reality check, I am completely fine with who I am and who I am striving to be and I choose not  to settle! I just wished more people knew what they want out of a partner and what they worth. Instead of just settling and getting  sucked into a world they think they want. Be you 100% of the time and same for your partner most importantly if you want to be with each other trust each other!

Hope all of you inlove are doing great nothing is ever easy but you know it will be worth it when you look back and think of how you have grown together through the good and the bad times.

Like I said I am no expert in any love matters. so if you disagree or agree with my view please let me know in the comments. I am always interested to find out what other people’s love views are.

xxx

Cherry ♥

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